grey skies.

yupp. i didn't post anything yesterday. it was a loong day and not much happy stuff. wow, that sounded really emo and sad, and it really wasnt. just a lot of things going on, and not a lot of time to pause and take in the good moments. but now that i think about it:

1. potluck pizza.
for golden key, someone suggested we do a potluck and it turned into lets bring ingredients and make a pizza altogether! [btw, you can buy a large pizza dough from woodstocks for $2 and they'll even roll it out for you] but turned out only 4 of us were present at a single time :( but that's okay bc the pesto pizza we made was delicious and beautiful with our mix of random ingredients - olives, mushrooms, spinach, sun dried tomatoes. and i got to know one of the golden key officers and she also loves giada!

2. ladies' free skate.
watched the olympics after real life with a lot of girls - nina, katie, jessica, carissa, marley, and of course, alona. and even tho it was late and we were accidentally watching the recorded events from the night before and mirai didn't medal, it was still a nice time.

so for today...it feels like there's still not anything notable. i feel anxious and i'm not sure why. and when i got dressed today, i dressed in moody greys. maybe i do want to indulge in feeling emo...

oh i got one!
1. im going to be spending the evening with rachel and summer!

its the little things that count.

1. studio time.
spent the hour before class in studio listening to tim chaddick explain "the essence of church: theological." i really love listening to his podcast. he preaches the Word so boldly and he always manages to say something that makes me smile or laugh out loud which is just an added bonus.

2. rainy day + ice cream + candle.

my coffee ice cream mug.

comforting things are needed on gray and rainy days. so now im blogging and eating coffee ice cream from a mug and letting the apple spice candle [from summer] fill the apartment. everything is so blissful, i think i'll leave my 186X final project interviews for tomorrow. in the meantime, i think i'll look for high quality images i can put in my paper.
which reminds me, yesterday i went to armi's office hours and had a nice conversation and that should have made it on the list for yesterday, but i forgot.

yesterday always seems so far away.

my morning was wonderful:

1. ice dancing.

Virtue/Moir (Canada) and Davis/White (USA)

alona and i caught up on our olympics by watching the ice dancing we recorded. the performances were breathtaking and just got better and better. i thought the americans, meryl davis and charlie white, were going to hold onto gold for sure, but then the canadians, tess virtue and scott moir, took the ice and right from the beginning it looked like they would pull ahead. virtue/scott's choreography was so beautiful and they performed it so elegantly, their skating didn't look like anyone else's.
this definitely started my morning off nicely.

2. and making granola.

finished cherry/cranberry almond granola! (and i love silpat!)

this granola recipe is from daniel's mom and it is delightful. i dont think i'll ever buy granola again. this one is just so yummy and it's so sooo easy to make!


and the day ended just as wonderfully:

3. summer + rachel time.

the 3 [brunette] musketeers before showtime.

they came over for some american idol fun. and we had a nice time commenting on the performances and picking our faves :] then we went and saw the movie brothers for free at iv theater.
the movie was so good and so sad. (daniel's right, i only like sad movies...but that's another story.) and it just reminded me of how much we need God and how mighty He is. right now i'm reading in the bible about Jesus' ministry and all the miracles he performed. it's a daily reminder that God can heal everything whether its mental, physical, spiritual. tobey maguire's character need Jesus.

girls just wanna have fun.

Some crazy cloud action on the drive to El Capitan.

friday-saturday, feb 19-20: women's retreat:

1. adorable cabins.
comfy accommodations just make everything better. we had a bathroom (+shower) in every cabin as well as a mini fridge, microwave, and coffee maker!

2. silly girls + ghost stories + harry potter.

our cabin! we quickly bonded over our love of harry potter and silly accents (caytlin's british one, erika's indian one) and later we all climbed up into the loft (w shea) and told ghost stories by flashlight.

3. yoga with allie.
seriously so much fun! it was a beautiful day outside and we got to do yoga out under the shade of a tent. so relaxing, but today i am so sooo sore.


sunday, feb 21.

4. studio time + britt.
i went to studio today and did my drawings, but this time i listened to my podcast of pastor britt merrick's sermon, "this is reality: theology" and it was the best studio time ever. but because the sermon was on what reality believes and why they do what they do, i started thinking about how many sundays there are before june 13th when i graduate and leave santa barbara and how much i will miss attending reality carpinteria. good thing they have podcasts i guess.

and to come...
5. finally watching australia w alona!
we have been planning to watch it for a looong long time now and we are finally both free on the same night for an epic 3hr movie. this is something just short of a miracle.

short and sweet.

wednesday, feb. 17.

taken just a few hrs prior to being stabbed by my pencil.

1. i got to studio really really early in the morning and i loved being there so much. i love my drafting board and having my own stuff and listening to my music on my laptop (note the number of "my"s in this sentence). i think it's my new home away from home. which is good bc i have a project due monday and its always better when you're looking forward to it. and i've decided that i'm going to start listening to those sermon podcasts while i'm drawing. it's the perfect time to be listening to them!

later...

2. wildcat wednesday extravaganza!
so much fun singing along, pointing out all the small cutesy things they do in the movie! and then more disney sing along a capella time. haha and lots of talking. and of course, some snl videos. all the way until 230am. and we didn't get locked in the back room!

felt like wearing my class ring bc kelsi wears hers in hsm3.

thursday, feb. 18.
3. post-real life cookie baking with ashley! (and of course gaby and shea were there too. lol)

friday, feb. 19.
4. going to womens retreat in a little bit.

words i wish someone would say to me someday.

"you're nice to look at and you have unbelievable concentration...i thought, 'i have never seen anyone read so intensely before in my entire life. i have to meet that girl.' " - dean explaining his initial attraction to rory of gilmore girls

better late than never.

the looong weekend recap:

thursday, feb. 11.
- swedish crepes. yum!
waking up early the 2nd day in a row just to get to IHOP by 7. pretty brutal, but a wonderful breakfast with people from reality, most from rachel + summer's homegroup.
- annika.
it was so nice hanging out with annika. i really miss talking to her and i wish we could do it more often.
- real life: god+sex. [apparently, the two things we love most...?]
which prompted a lot of hilarious discussion with shea + ashley + sarah bennett about making our own animated sex-ed video with gov. arnold narrating. you had to be there.
- fellowship.
hung out with stephen + jake + rachel + summer after real life until 1am. pretty fun talking for so long and getting to know each other better, squished into one booth.

friday, feb. 12.
- adorn.
"there is no lost cause" because God's grace is active. He makes examples of the most stubborn.
- free chai latte's @coffee bean.
- going home w/kristen + rachel!

saturday, feb. 13.

- love life.
what a great conference hosted by reality la at the orpheum. [how beautiful is it in there?] it was fun, but there was a lot of truth in what was shared, too. it just reminded me of how much i want my parents and friends to be involved in my next relationship.
so nice to spend the day with alisha + phil + rachel + kristen. and we were able to buy pastor britt's book! i'm so excited to read it.
- my mommy.
even though she just got out of the hospital, she got stuff ready for kristen, rachel, and i and even got me a valentine's day card and gift: yummy see's cal brittle, scotchmallows, and butterscotch chews!
- valentine's day.
the movie. it was so cute! rachel & i liked it very much!

sunday, feb. 14.
- reality la.
love this church. the reality churches are so blessed. and it was nice to see some familiar faces like josh waidley, carissa, and victoria.
- gaby.
visited gaby's house! and hung out in hermosa beach. then target! oh how much target makes me happy.
- winter olympics.
the athletes are so inspiring! i love watching the different events, even if i don't know anything about them.

monday, feb. 15.
- made granola and it was AMAZING. thank you mrs. wong for the recipe.
- drove home [in seemingly record time] and had some good chinese food.
- cookiewiches.
with mint chip ice cream, of course.
- alona + my tv time.
from dishing on the bachelor to rooting for the married chinese couple in pairs figure skating, we have a good time in front of our tv. haha

tuesday, feb. 16.
- finished my summer project application!
- bought the valentine's day soundtrack. it's lovely. :]

fine.

first things first.

haircut. so that everyone can see.

before:

after:

hah. (but really, how lovely is the lighting in the second picture?)
and tomorrow will be a recap of the weekend. i think that's what i'll do from now on.

hard days night.

1. i am finally finished with my powerpoint on auto showroom design!
after working allll day. and reluctantly skipping out on an epic epic valentine's day party.

2. lovely weather.
today was just beautiful! :]

3. Jesus. and red print bibles.
i've been reading through the bible chronologically since january 2009 and now i'm reading the gospels, which is interesting because you can compare the different accounts of Jesus' life. but after recently reading the prophets and our study of daniel in (rachel and my) bible study, i am so thankful for Jesus. how crazy is God's love for us when we are so undeserving. i can't even comprehend.

4. american idol time last night.
i love rachel and summer soooo much! you guys made my day.

highlights:

• rock.paper.scissors. its starbucks+panda, not coffee bean+pick up stix. we want the real thing.
  
• quintessential rachel, "don't say that!"
• ellen judging on idol!
• really bad fortunes from panda.
• talking buffy. [giles is to buffy as alfred is to batman]
  
• laughing a lot, but i cant remember why...
• watching summer+samantha's version of twilight.

night night. waking up @6am. i'll tell you why tomorrow.

raindrops on roses.

1. rain.
woke up again to the soft sound of raindrops outside. i love that sound and the nice white-gray color of the sky. its so calming for my hectic day today...ugh why tuesdays?

2. coffee.
but then i made some coffee because i went to sleep @2am after finishing my reading for today's art history section. why assign the longest reading in the reader the day before section? frustrating, professor. anyway, coffee makes mornings better, too. especially when consumed in a pretty mug like the wintery one from summer. the mug matched the weather so perfectly today.

3. done with calls before 10am.
i put the phone call tip to practice this morning and made 4 or 5 phone calls first thing after breakfast. and it wasnt even painful! i am going to forever make calls in the morning. and im very sorry if i wake you up.

4. mr. chuck freeman of callahan+freeman architects.
he was so friendly and helpful to me and my project. i didnt want to bother him and i he had already called me back on friday, but i think i called back too late (because they're located in dallaw-fort worth area) and i didnt want to leave another message bc that's lame. so i called this morning and he was so nice and genuinely interested! i'm so thankful for his help with my research and gave me some good leads.

such a good morning. :]

love is in the air.

1. how funny is this smitten? its a mitten for holding hands. genius, right? except your hands might get sweaty in there...that would be gross.

2. better hair day than yesterday. definitely better. haha because yesterday i went to bed after i showered and it was just sticking up like when i was a baby. today i showered in the morning and blowed it down. much better. like the jonas brothers song.

3. gaby spitting whilst laughing [about pouring sugar on yourself]. and the three of them - rachel, shea, and gaby - trying to figure out their cravings in the kitchen [which was satisfied by peanut butter and honey on toast, wheat tortillas, and a toasted pb&j sandwich, respectively].

3a. gaby nearly spitting again whilst laughing. because of shea and conjoined twins on tv in the spot of kardashians.

4. i finally finished my drafting project after working on it 8 hours outside of class time.

weekend warriors.

so i need to recap my weekend with my favorite moments because i was a bum and didnt even bother blogging or checking my email.

friday, feb 5.

sleepover w/summer+rachel! so wonderful words cannot even describe. we rolled around on leanna's bed laughing at beautiful rachel's silly baby pictures. and then we blissfully fell asleep to coraline. rachel and i shared leanna's cozy big bed, but she had to wake up early for the CBEST. summer and i awoke long after rachel had snuck out (we seriously did not hear a thing) to the soft pitter-patter of raindrops in the Bella backyard.

saturday, feb 6.

i got my hair cut! and by the time of my appointment, rachel was on her way back from her test and she came to alex's beauty bar where THE alex cut my hair short. and now i have it in a plastic bag for mailing. and my shadow looks like peter pan's. :] then rachel and i went to woodstock's and shared a delicious garlic pizza.
and sarah was visiting for the weekend again so i saw her a little bit, but not enough, when we swung by my house for more sleeping over stuff so that i could just stay at rachels before carpooling to church and sarah could sleep in my bed.

then we did a ton of laundry and waited to hang out with annika because we haven't hung out with her all year! and she invited us over to her house, the Bungalow, to watch how i met your mother with a glass of wine. because annika's classy. :]

and because it was still early, rachel and i watched wedding crashers because i had never seen it before. and i think i could've done without because i've realized i do not like owen wilson at all.

sunday, feb 7.

we went to reality carpinteria's first service with kristen and amy and stopped at coffee bean (and i did not leave my wallet this week) beforehand. i got a bagel for the first time and found that they make their own cream cheese! so good! yes, a much better experience than last sunday morning. the message was on the relational church and it was definitely something i needed to hear. it is preparing me for going back home, away from this church that i've come to love, and teaching me how i can better serve my home church.

then finally: super bowl XLIV with rachel. and our "super bowl food" consisting of lime tostitos, shea's coronas, and mini chocolate chip cookies. haha yay saints!

fine.

a little goes a long way.

so i procrastinated tonight after real life by spending a little bit of quality time by myself. and it was so nice, that it helped me come up with today's list...

1. real life.
real life was full of surprises tonight! jennie spoke and i was convicted to be more intentional with a friend in my class. and now that i've written in here, i will need to be accountable. another wonderful thing: annika was there! and she wants to hang out! and im excited because i haven't seen her in a long long time and i miss her.

2. organizing.
usually i procrastinate by cleaning, but tonight i went onto real simple's and martha stewart's website to find articles on being more organized and tidy instead. so now im motivated to get organized and get things done and be more productive tomorrow by using the handy dandy tips that i learned from the articles! the best one from today was for making my phone calls tomorrow. because i really really hate calling people, especially for my research project. so the real simple tip was to get all the info (the names, numbers, reason for calling, etc.) together the night before so that first thing in the morning, you can just make all the calls at once and then don't have to fret about it for the rest of the day. so im going to try to do that tomorrow. along with finishing my summer project application, another thing i am procrastinating.

3. ice cream.
i really do love ice cream and today, the coffee ice cream in my freezer just seemed so enticing. and it was perfect after a long day. mmm!

4. greys anatomy.
and the final thing i did during my night to myself was to catch up on my greys because for some reason i did not realize it had already come back on. four weeks ago. but what threw me off was they premiered two new eps, then repeated an old one, then just premiered a new one again tonight! how confusing. so then when i tried to watch, i ended up watching them all backwards. ugh. and now this seems really frustrating and uncharacteristic for my list, but i assure you that it was actually a nice, relaxing time watching a show about drama and knowing that none of it involves me. haha but i also like to watch it because it make me motivated to work hard and study. because they do that in their high stress doctor-y lives. and they're ambitious but they always reach a tipping point and then the just crack and fall apart and have a breakdown and i think that's the part i love. because they finally realize they can't do it on their own. and that's just the way it really should be. God didn't make us self-sufficient beings, but completely dependent upon Him. and good thing, too.

p.s.- i just realized that tao okamoto is wearing a cross necklace in a picture below. hmmm that would be crazy if she was a believer! :]

less is more.

on saturday i will be cutting off my hair. i'm donating the required 10" which means i have to figure out what kind of short haircut i want. im leaning toward the dramatically short because i've always wanted to cut my hair short-short, but it freaked my boyfriend out when his hair was longer than mine the last time it was short. but now that i don't have to take his opinion into consideration, i think i want a pixie cut. with bangs. the BANGS! and i think i want it to look something like tao okamoto's (pictured above with long hair, and below with short hair) when she has her bangs to the side.

other wise she usually has a bowl cut look that i don't think i could pull off at all. i'll leave that to her.

but seriously, how cool would it be to be able to do this:

it's like a feminine chris lazo 'do. work that updo. haha

sharing is caring.

look! two days in a row! so here's my blessings from today:

1. epic.

i love this movement! and especially the lovely gals in it! we had such an amazing women's time tonight. i felt like we've finally broken through the ice and got real with each other. well, i should say we could have because the potential was there, but i didn't share so i can't say we all did. but i was really really thinking about sharing and i probably should have, but the conversation went in a different direction and then i didn't want to share after jamie because it was just like a perfect note to end on.

2. talking to jennie.

i was super blessed to hear jennie's story. and i just really wanted to keep talking to her and share with her where i feel like our story's overlap, but there just wasn't time tonight. i think God was totally using her tonight to speak to me about the plans He has for me now that He has my undivided attention. and i just really like her. she has such an openness about her that i never knew before. and i think satan (with a lower-case "s" haha) was just getting in the way because i was so apprehensive to approach her before because i was a little intimidated by her and how zealous she is toward God. and i think i was afraid because i wasn't like that too. but now God has redeemed the situation! and now i really really want to go to japan and be on jennie's team, but not for the wrong reasons, it's just like a bonus that she's awesome.

3. friends.

the show and the people! but they should go hand in hand in my opinion. that combo is often best. mmm tonight, sum, rach, and i video chatted (+guest appearances by leanna and alona) for the very first time altogether. how wonderful! haha even with minimal sound/echo-y creepy noises. im still figuring out how this stuff works.

that's all for today, nighty night!

counting my blessings.

i want to start using this blog to mention 3 or more things that i am thankful for everyday. and i am really not happy that im implementing this on the 2nd of the month instead of the 1st like a good starting point, but at least it's kind of a holiday - groundhog's day!

okay, so let's begin!

1. im thankful for such fond memories of watching groundhog's day with my dad and brother. we used to laugh so hard at so many scenes. and then keep quoting them over and over. i miss laughing like that altogether.

2. tuesdays are my toughest day of the week, but today was so good and way better than i expected! i had been stressing out over my research project and today i made my calls to designers and i actually talked to someone! and he was so informative and mentioned all the things i love (like starbucks, macbooks, and disneyland!) and didn't make me feel like i was wasting his time.

3. ingrid michaelson and her ridiculous voice and her "cute" songs. they have been stuck in my head since the concert. but im not complaining. in particular, "giving up" keeps resurfacing since rachel and i were talking about it the other night and how poignant the words are. we related them to captivating by john and stasi eldredge because the verses are made up of a compilation of every woman's deepest fears. and i love it.


[giving up]

what if we stop having a ball?
what if the paint chips from the wall?
what if there's always cups in the sink?
what if i'm not what you think i am?

what if i fall further than you?
what if you dream of somebody new?
what if i never let you (w)in,* chase you with a rolling pin?
well what if i do?

i am giving up on making passes and
i am giving up on half empty glasses and
i am giving up on greener grasses
i am giving up

what if our baby comes home after nine?
what if your eyes close before mine?
what if you lose yourself sometimes?
then i'll be the one to find you
safe in my heart

i am giving up on making passes and
i am giving up on half empty glasses and
i am giving up on greener grasses
i am giving up

i am giving up
i am giving up
i am giving up on greener grasses

i am giving up for you
i am giving up for you
i am giving up

*i always thought it was "in" but some sites online say "win." i think not letting people in is my own heart then.